Ofcourse you would have to do this at 2:00 o'clock in the morning after some mysterious 'accident' while in a state of extreme emotion. The dna is male. So sanitary pads are out.
Ofcourse obtaining the dna from the source you envision would mean that it was highly contaminated and already subjected to the activity of bacteria that are degrading it and making it less useful for evidentiary purposes.But one thing you forget,,, the dna is not from seminal fluid.
Neither the dna from the nails nor the dna from the panties is from seminal fluid, so it didn't come from some midnight trip to a seedy part of town to locate a publicly discarded condom.
Oh, and you forgot the pipettes and tweezers with which to carefully handle and deposit the dna.
And be careful at this place where you obtain the dan and later transport it,,,you can't contaminate it with your own dna remember!