Reviving an old post because I REALLY think the book is great - I read it, laughed, cried. My teenager read it and the older kids are passing it around now - - a really GOOD read.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dan Glick was a Newsweek reporter who covered the Ramsey case from the beginning - - I think of him as a friend.

He just sent this announcement which I want to share with all of you.

I am pleased to announce the birth my second book, entitled Monkey Dancing: A Father, Two Kids, and a Journey to the Ends of the Earth, which will officially be published on May 27 by PublicAffairs. Monkey Dancing is a chronicle of a half-year, around-the-world journey I took with my two children after their mother and I divorced, she moved out of state to live with her new girlfriend, and my older brother Bob died of breast cancer.

Whew is right.

With my life in unconditional disarray, I chose to embark on my odyssey into single fatherhood in an admittedly unusual way: by taking my kids to python-infested jungles in Borneo searching for wild orangutans; into remote mountains in Vietnam tracking Javan rhinos; and to the northern edge of the Gangeatic plains stalking Bengal tigers. I wanted to show my 13-year old son and 9-year old daughter this planet’s amazing animals and extraordinary landscapes before overpopulation, poverty, global climate change, pollution, and development maimed or destroyed them. I knew they would become fledglings too soon, and I wanted to stamp an indelible shared memory on all of us. Launching this extraordinary journey together seemed like a much better idea than staying home and watching Grounded for Life. Perhaps, I thought, we could forge a new family of three, using adventure as our crucible.

We did, and lived to tell about it in Monkey Dancing.

Book promotion is a draining and daunting prospect, so I unabashedly ask your help spreading the Monkey Dancing word, and hereby deputize you all as authorized publicists. Tell people about the book, forward this email, show the unbroken circle the way to my website (http://www.danielglick.net), buy the book as a gift for your father and one for yourself. The website has links to purchase books at your favorite cyber-bookstore, as well as information about the Monkey Tour -- which as of now includes Boulder (6/3),Chicago (6/7), the San Francisco Bay Area (6/8 and 6/14), Portland (6/9), Seattle (6/11 and 6/13), Denver (6/26), Sun Valley (6/28), and Los Angeles (7/30). If you have people in any of these places, please alert them to the event in question.

Hopefully, Monkey Dancing will not disappoint. Kirkus Reviews summed it up as a "Big-hearted, pleasingly fitful narrative of the kind of journey that scours the soul of its karmic gunk," which is an awfully nice thing for a book trade publication to say. Publishers Weekly wrote in a starred review that "This unusual, superbly written and deeply human story…is a consistently rewarding odyssey." I’ll take that as well. And USA Today, that arbiter of American taste, picked Monkey Dancing for its summer recommended reading list.

Here’s how Monkey Dancing begins:

In the middle of the night, after my daughter Zoe woke me for the third time because she was afraid of the snakes, I wondered, not for the first time, whether this trip had really been such an inspired idea. Earlier, Zoe had been complaining about leeches, and before that mosquitoes, and it dawned on me that unless you were raised in the rainforest, accustomed to strangler figs and spiders the size of gerbils, Borneo was a pretty forbidding environment. For a nine-year old girl reared in suburban Colorado, this place looked downright menacing. My thirteen-year old son Kolya, also awakened by his sister, didn’t help things when he authoritatively informed Zoe that since she was the smallest mammal among us, any predator would obviously eat her first.

Dan is a great guy - - wonderful father - - and the book promises to be a fun read. I hope others will buy it - - I know I will.

I certainly will not be buying this book, and can't help but wonder about anyone who would put his children through such horrific "enlightening" experiences.

For those who care about environmental issues and edumacating children,

(jameson, did you invent this word as a home-schooler parent, or just typo it - in another thread - anyway, it it is a wonderful word - edumacate),

maybe try the book, available at B&N, etc., "Earth From Above 366 Days" by Yann Arthus-Bertrand, translated from the French by Simon Jones, Harry N. Abrams, Inc., Publishers., (no date given, except it seems to want to be a calendar book for 2004. Not cheap. The photos, one for each day, are extraordinary. And it is all about the effects that we people are having on the planet Earth and other stuff.

Do you know, we had other parents tell us practically the same thing when we decided to eliminate television at our house when our kids were young.... Why put them through such torment, deprivation, yada, yada.

Ya know what? They found out there's a whole WORLD out there waiting to be explored instead of watching othes explore it.

They survived. So did the Glick kids, and they are all much better off for the new experiences.

Raise 'em soft and that's exactly how they'll turn out.

Rainsong

I agree Rainsong.

Kids today are fat, lazy and spoiled, imo. Not all of course, but the majority of kids are being raised by TV, fast food and the internet. That is turning them into fat softies with no ambition or concern for the world.

This is an outstanding book by a wonderful writer. I've read it and interviewed Glick regarding this book and his last book, Powder Burn.

Recently I saw Glick speak to a packed audience who all showed deep respect for this author. He's a wonderful father, author and investigative reporter.

As I mentioned here before, Glick said during his recent talk that he feels the Ramsey's are innocent.

If anyone wants to see the effect people are having on the planet, just cast your glance out your front window at nearly any tree on the horizon. Bet you locate at least one plastic grocery bag tangled in the branches.

But there's another side to the issue, too, not just endangered wild life. Even though Chief Seattle did not say the words, nonetheless, they are true:

Humankind has not woven the web of life.
We are but one thread within it.

Whatever we do to the web,
we do to ourselves.

All things are bound together.
All things connect.

Rainsong

I think it's a great title and sounds like the adventure of a lifetime. There are worse human predators walking the streets on two feet.

I'd like to read the book too. When my children were that age we had many adventures in wilderness areas, and once spent Thanksgiving in the middle of the Florida Everglades with an airboat and tent!

"My thirteen-year old son Kolya, also awakened by his sister, didn’t help things when he authoritatively informed Zoe that since she was the smallest mammal among us, any predator would obviously eat her first."

LOL. That sounds familiar, and typical big brother comment!

I wish he'd been MY dad...Oh, Yeah!!!

LAST EDITED ON Jan-31-04 AT 07:26 PM (EST)
 
>"My thirteen-year old son Kolya, also awakened by his
>sister, didn’t help things when he authoritatively informed
>Zoe that since she was the smallest mammal among us, any
>predator would obviously eat her first."
>
>LOL. That sounds familiar, and typical big brother comment!

Somehow, I don't think this is a LOL, - it is about a girl afraid of predator snakes who is obviously younger than than 13 and there is no mother with her... Please, what am I missing here?

Saluda

What are you missing Saluda? You're missing kids being kids. There are as many snakes in parts of most countries, oftentimes in our own back yards. It is a misconception that snakes are predators. The real predators are the two legged variety.

I think Dan Glick sounds like a wonderful Dad who knows the importance of spending special time with his children before they outgrow him. Brothers tease sisters mercilessly and sisters do the same to their brothers. That's one of the things being siblings is all about,,,worldwide.

The experience sounds like the adventure of a lifetime.

LAST EDITED ON Jan-31-04 AT 07:58 PM (EST)
 

I'm sure the girl was old enough to know better and that it was all in fun.

>>"My thirteen-year old son Kolya, also awakened by his
>>sister, didn’t help things when he authoritatively informed
>>Zoe that since she was the smallest mammal among us, any
>>predator would obviously eat her first."

>>LOL. That sounds familiar, and typical big brother comment!

>Somehow, I don't think this is a LOL, - it is about a girl
>afraid of predator snakes who is obviously younger than than
>13 and there is no mother with her... Please, what am I
>missing here?

>Saluda

Older siblings can be quite mean to younger ones. The author does not sound like he approved of what the son had said, and even though little sister did not have her mother, she did have her father who I am sure nurtured her. If the situation had continued to be too much for his daughter to handle, I'm sure he would have removed her from it.

Ok,
So I guess you are both experts because both of you were separated from you mother well before you were 13. Right?
Saluda

>Ok,
> So I guess you are both experts because both of you were
>separated from you mother well before you were 13. Right?
> Saluda

I'm not going to argue any expertise to you, Saluda. You asked a question, and I answered it in what I thought was a polite form based on the behaviors of my own children. If I came across as condescending or impolite, I apologize.

>>Ok,
>> So I guess you are both experts because both of you were
>>separated from you mother well before you were 13. Right?
>> Saluda
>
>I'm not going to argue any expertise to you, Saluda. You
>asked a question, and I answered it in what I thought was a
>polite form based on the behaviors of my own children. If I
>came across as condescending or impolite, I apologize.

Unless the mother is a psychotic person or a psychopathic person, children should not be separated from their mothers prior to age 16. They should also have, where possible, the max involvement of their fathers, if the father is not a criminal or psychotic type, at least until grown (especially boys) and any other responsible type relatives such as grandparents - especially where other responsible type relatives can be involved without undue friction in the lives of the children.

Saluda, I understand your reference to a psychopathic person but do not understand your reference to a psychotic person,,,do you mean if a mom or dad has a psychotic episode they should have their children taken from them or if a person has had a psychotic episode they should not have children?

you should read the book.

I think what he did was wonderful. He didn't let himself go into a deep depression after losing his brother and his wife - he reinvented his life and took his kids with him.

If you read the book and look at the photos - you will see it wasn't hard on the kids - it was a growing experience that opened their worlds beyond what mnost of our kids will ever see.

LAST EDITED ON Jan-31-04 AT 10:22 PM (EST)
 
I'm definitely going to read the book, before I say anymore! :)

I have a 14 yr. old daughter and I can tell you the way things are with her now, I wish her dad and brother would take her on a trip like that.

She wouldn't mind being seperated from either. She's never home as it is. We don't seem to get along too well these days. I really long for my little girl who use to hang on my every word. Those days are GONE!

Edited to add: I was seperated from my mother well before I was 13. She worked long hours and then when she was home-- she was tired and had 7 other children to contend with. I think I turned out ok.

"Somehow, I don't think this is a LOL, - it is about a girl afraid of predator snakes who is obviously younger than than 13 and there is no mother with her... Please, what am I missing here?--Saluda"

I'm sorry you missed my point, Saluda. I certainly wasn't laughing because a 9 year old was afraid of snakes, but about my own memories and experience with children & silly comments they can come up with at the wrong time.

I simply wrote:

"LOL. That sounds familiar, and typical big brother comment!

Perhaps I should have written HUM for Humorous Unforgotten Memories? I think Dan Glick conveyed this part of their adventure in a charming, humorous, tongue-in-cheek manner. Zoe's older brother didn’t help matters when he teased her and "authoritatively informed" her of the situation.

It reminded me of wilderness experiences with my brothers, sister, cousins, and my own four children which brought back fond and funny memories. One of the ways I've coped with the death of my youngest son is to recall the many happy times we spent together, the way they teased one another, and the adventures our family shared. I woudn't trade them for anything...

One of the ways I've coped with the death of my youngest son is to recall the many happy times we spent together, the way they teased one another, and the adventures our family shared. I woudn't trade them for anything...

Oh, Sparrow, I didn't know ... I am most sorry for your loss.

>Saluda, I understand your reference to a psychopathic person
>but do not understand your reference to a psychotic
>person,,,do you mean if a mom or dad has a psychotic episode
>they should have their children taken from them or if a
>person has had a psychotic episode they should not have
>children?

I am replying to your question, AND NOT IN ANY WAY REPLYING IN REFERENCE TO THE GLICK FAMILY THING.

No, I don't mean either of those that you asked about:

"if a mom or dad has a psychotic episode they should have their children taken from them or

"if a person has had a psychotic episode they should not have children?"

There are medications that can control psychosis most of the time. The drug companies are working hard on this.

If a parent has had a psychotic episode, there would need to be some kind of evaluation about the source of the episode - drug-induced or onset on psychotic disease and an evaluation of the safety of children. An example is the gal who drowned her 5 children in Texas.

If it were a temporary thing - such as drug-induced psychotic episode, such as use of pcp - then custody should be given to the closest MATERNAL side family member who has been found able, capable, and willing to give care to the children, and if the the mother is willing to undergo rehab, then follow up that closely to make sure she has completed rehab and can pass a set of psychological tests and a psycho-social interview about parententing, in the least.

Whether or not people who have had a non-drug-induced psychotic episode should have children:
This is way out of the ball park of this forum. The person should seek both psychological and genetic couseling, imho.

I agree that the new atypical meds prevent relapse of a psychosis in most cases. And, when one occurs, there should be a complete evaluation and treatment as well as therapy and counseling. During the recovery period, anyone would definitely need help in caring for themselves and their children.

I do have to say that in the case of the Texas mother killing her five children, I DO hold her husband and those around her responsible. A psychotic episode does not just begin overnight. There usually is a period of time (the prodrome) that should have been easily distinguished by those around her on a regular basis. I, for one, do not believe she should be in prison.

I Edit to say,

>If it were a temporary thing - such as drug-induced
>psychotic episode, such as use of pcp - then custody should
>be given to the closest MATERNAL side family member who has
>been found able, capable, and willing to give care to the
>children,

OR TO THE FATHER, IF HE HAS BEEN BEEN FOUND DRUG-FREE, ABLE, CAPABLE, AND WILLING TO GIVE CARE TO THE CHILDREN,

>and if the the mother is willing to undergo rehab,
>then follow up that closely to make sure she has completed
>rehab and can pass a set of psychological tests and a
>psycho-social interview about parententing, in the least.
>
>Whether or not people who have had a non-drug-induced
>psychotic episode should have children:
>This is way out of the ball park of this forum. The person
>should seek both psychological and genetic couseling, imho.

The mother decided she wanted out of the marriage. She moved to another state with another woman - they have a "relationship". That is a lifestyle choice. Would the kids be better with the mother? Apparently the mother didn't think so - - she chose to leave them with their very loving, caring father.

I am shocked at the attack on Dan. Obviously I don't agree witht he poster who thinks children need to be with the mother..... some women are mothers, others may just give birth. It is NOT the same thing.

I was sorry to see this thread turn into disagreements on parenting. Families all over the world, throughout time, have had challenges they never wanted or expected. Sometimes, we have to get creative to rise to those challenges. We even have to challenge our own children to navigate the world with self-confidence all the while evaluating the impact on them so as not to set them up for failure. It is apparent the author was doing just that, and the adventure was a successful one. I would love to read this book and follow along as little sister overcomes her fears and becomes competant in her surroundings. Even more, I wish I could have been there.

LAST EDITED ON Feb-04-04 AT 03:42 PM (EST) by jameson (admin)
 
OEJ, I agree with you. We must learn to rise above the tragedies of life, and go on. There are many people who were raised without the benefit of a loving natural parent due to death, divorce, abandonment or abuse.

My maternal grandmother died when my mother was in second grade. My grandfather was called to WW2 shortly after, leaving her an only child in the care of relatives. Although she didn't "have" a mother, she was determined to "be" the best of mothers, and years after her death I still miss her everyday. I was blessed by her courage and strength. I think Zoe will grow up to be a brave, wonderful woman and stronger because of her experiences. She's blessed to have a father like Dan, and I wish them only the best.

The following is also "Off Topic" but I want to share a heartwarming email I received this morning from a friend. We never know how we touch the lives of others with simple kindness and understanding.
Margoo, thank you.

"As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big F at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.

His second grade teacher wrote, Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.

His third grade teacher wrote, His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken.

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.

Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to. After the children left, she cried for at least an hour.

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her teacher's pets.

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer....The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story does not end here. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr.Stoddard whispered in Mrs.Thompson's ear, Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.

Mrs.Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

(I have been variously informed the story refers to John Stoddard, a business man, and conversely, Dr. Stoddard. I have no idea, but received the story in email this morning from Fluppy.)

Sparrow, thank you for sharing a part of your life and the email from Margoo on this thread. Grief, pain, healing, and rebirth are emotions and transitions we all face, young and old. Those brave souls who dare to tread down the path of raising children end up with nerves of steel and hearts of gold.

OEJ, I don't think Sparrow's email was from Margoo. Sparrow was thanking Margoo for her kind expression of sympathy.

Thank you both for your kind comments. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. It was another friend who sent the email this morning, but Margoo is welcome to send me inspiring letters anytime!

I hope we will have a chance to discuss the book after we've read it.

Oh well. It seems like an email Margoo would send! Let's revive this thread when we get finished reading. I'll order it later this week.